


Cheating

by Rivethart



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Excuse to have all my fave boys in one place!, Getting back in the swing of things, Headspace, cheating on a fandom..., writer's imagination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:24:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13526169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivethart/pseuds/Rivethart
Summary: Sans is annoyed. Rivet hasn't written anything for months, and is letting down her readers! He's off to her headspace to check on her, but he doesn't exactly like what he finds...(Complete crack. Enjoy!)





	Cheating

Sans hummed as he knocked on the door to the Meta Space, rapping out a quick ‘Shave and a Haircut’ on the wood. When there wasn’t an immediate answer, he added a quick ‘Two Bits’ to the end. He then shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and rocked back on his heels, waiting for her response. It would likely be one of two - either a cheerful “Coming!” followed by a grinning deer throwing open the door to greet him, or an equally cheerful “Fuck off!” as the harried author tried to beat another deadline. Either way he would enter the odd, dark room that compromised the authors mind and they’d have a quick chat, mostly about where she had been the past few months. **  
**

He, as well as the rest of the characters in her headspace, had been happy to hear she had a job in her field - teaching American history to seventh graders on a short-term basis while the real teacher had a baby. Despite gaining a full-time job she had promised to continue writing, planning to revamp the world building for her Bitty Reader series and work on her other stories. That promise had gone out the window within a week, and the creative part of her headspace had gone dark.

She was back now, however, and he planned on nudging her towards finishing some of her unfinished chapters sitting Google Docs. So Sans rocked back and forth on his heels, but heard nothing from the other side. Frowning, the skeleton tapped the door again, making sure it as loud enough that there would be no chance of the writer missing it.

Beyond the door something shuffled, and a series of whispers erupted, followed by someone shushing the other voices. So someone else had beaten him to the punch, huh? Stars, he hoped it wasn’t those creepy Five Nights at Freddy’s robots, or that skeleton Itward from Fran Bow. Those horror games freaked him out. Horror or no, though, he needed to have a word with the deer. Time to join the party.

The door swung open with a bit of a shove, but as soon as Sans had stepped into the Meta Space, three bright-blue bullets were soaring for his head. With a startled yelp and reflexes honed by pulling perfect pranks alongside his alternates, he teleported two feet to the left, farther into the room but out of the path of the bullets. Said bullets shot through the doorway and disappeared.

“Oh, uh. Hi, Sans!”

Sans snapped his gaze from the vanished bullets to the middle of the room. Rivet was there, though something was wrong. She was smaller than before, antlers mere bumps above her hair, eyes black ovals with small pie-shaped wedges cut from them. She was sprawled across the cross-legged lap of a large man with a purple-colored suit and a die for a head, while on either side of her sat two - boys? - with what appeared to be tea-cups for head.  The two boys and her had their gloved hands aimed at him, pointer finger sticking out and thumb raised to the ceiling, creating a ‘gun.’

All three immediately stuck their hands behind their back and gave him large, guilty grins. The die-headed man huffed a sigh and leaned back on his hands, eyeing the three as though waiting for them to give him trouble. The two boys shifted as Sans simply stared at them, prompting the deer to scramble to her feet and smooth down her pale green dress.

“So, uh, Sans,” she stepped towards him, having to look up to meet his eyes for once, “This is a pleasant surprise! But, uh, what are you doing here?”

The skeleton pulled his eyes from the odd-headed characters to meet the nervous black pupils peering up at him. If he squinted he could see a bit of pink in them when the light hit just right. The deers brows were drawn up in worry, and her ears were laying against the back of her head. She always did have a bad poker face.

“Just checkin’ in, kiddo,” he answered after a moment, taking up his ‘lazy-bastard’ mantle and shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets, rocking back on his heels and slumping slightly, creating a slacker chic look he had worked hard over the years to cultivate. “Haven’t heard from you for a while.”

“Oh well, you know, with the job, and the holidays…” Rivet wouldn’t meet his eyes, looking away and twisting her fingers together. “It’s just been busy.”

“Mhmm.” Sans eye lights flickered to the three still sitting on the floor. The dice-man - he hadn’t played the game, so he wasn’t sure of his name, and settled on calling him Dice - was watching with dispassionate eyes, which flashed green with malice. The two main-characters of the new game, Cuphead and Mugman, shifted uncomfortably in the larger mans lap. The red-colored one, Cuphead, glanced at the TV screen they had been watching, and Sans followed his gaze to see their game displayed, a ‘GAME OVER’ card pasted over the battlefield. A flower with a pointy nose was mocking them with a witty rhyme. The other character, Mugman, pulled down part of his straw (how did it work? Was it like a hat? Or another appendage?) and twisted it in his hands, like Rapunzel worrying her hair while waiting for her prince to come.

“Sans?” Rivet had come even closer and reached out to rest a hand on his arm. “Sans, I didn’t forget you, I promise.” She gave him a weak, hopeful smile. “I just got a little…sidetracked.”

Sans forced his grin back on his face and shrugged off her touch, then pulled his arm from his hoodie pocket and ruffled her hair, tangling the gray strands into a messy nest. “It’s okay,” he reassured her, “Cheating on your fandom takes a lot of time.”

There was a long pause as the woman froze, then shoved him away. “WHAT?” The deer demanded, shaking her hair out and glaring at him. “I’m - I’m not cheating on you!”

“Really?” Sans leaned to the side a bit, as though he couldn’t just see the others over her hair, and raked his eye lights over the trio and the TV. “Looks to me like you’re having a full-blown affair with the Cuphead Crew over there.”

“I - what - NO! I’m - I’m not cheating on you with the - the Cuphead Crew!” Rivet stomped her hoof, hands curled into fists and held tightly at her side. She opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a smooth voice tinted with a Brooklyn accent.

“She’s right, bud.” A new character, made of black and white with horns on his head and an oddly-familiar smile on his face, leaned around Dice and winked at him. “We got a regular ménage à trois going on here.”

“Bendy!” Rivet whirled on the demon, cheeks flaring bright red as she snapped at him. Dice chuckled deeply in his throat, while Cuphead cackled and Mugman blushed brightly and hid his face behind his hands.

“Think about it, doll. For someone not interested in romance,” Bendy dragged his eyes over the other characters, expression sparkling with mischief, “You sure do keep a lot of us guys around.”

The deer made an uncomfortable noise, then whirled around to face Sans. “Ignore him! I haven’t even bought his game!” She demanded, trying to fight down the blush still staining her cheeks.

“But you did get mine,” a new voice chimed in. A tall, thin figure emerged from elsewhere in the room, holding a large bowl of popcorn, and joined the group around the TV, sitting with his legs crossed at the ankles in front of him beside Bendy. He had a black and white color scheme as well, except on his puppet-like mask, which had purple tear streaks, red cheeks, and red lips. “Well, two of mine. The two that were free.”

Rivet made a frustrated noise in her throat and wilted a bit as Marionette offered the popcorn to Bendy, who threw a handful in his mouth before saying, through the popcorn, “So this would be a ménage à quatre, then?”

“ARGH!” The deer threw her arms up in defeat, before turning and stomping off to a corner of the dark space, pouting.

“Look, bone-boy,” the dice finally spoke, sitting up and shooing the two cups, who hurried to check on the deer. She had made this new avatar the same height as them, Sans noted absently, and they threw their arms around her and began telling her how much of a jerk Bendy was. “Oie!” Dice snapped his fingers, and Sans dragged his gaze back to him, stepping further into the room when the man motioned him closer.

“What?” He snapped, not wanting to talk to the deers new fling longer than he had to. Honestly, it made sense. Undertale was over two years old, and there were newer games with rich storylines just waiting to be eaten up and fuel the creativity of the fandom. He’d need to go back and break the news to the rest of the gang. Oh, Papyrus would be heartbroken…

“Stop wallowing in yer self pity and listen,” Dice snapped, standing and brushing off his suit. He absolutely towered over Sans, his face cast in shadows near the ceiling of the Meta Space. “This place,” he motioned around with an elegant twist of his wrist, “Doesn’t belong to you,” he shoved a finger in Sans chest. “Or him,” he thumbed down at Bendy, who stuck his tongue out in response. Marionette grabbed his tongue and gave it a quick twist, making the demon swear at him using car horns and bird whistles. “It doesn’t belong to Mari there either, even though Hart has a soft spot for him.” Said puppet beamed at the mention and gave Sans a little wave, barely avoiding Bendy when the little demon snapped his shark-like teeth at his three-fingered hand. “It don’t belong to me or my buds either. It belongs to her.”

He motioned to Rivet, who had accepted the teacups hugs and was holding them both tightly. “She’s got enough room in here for all of us, but you ‘n your kin are the only ones she’s writing about.”

Sans jolted a bit at that. “Really?”

“Yeah. She’s got a crossover ‘tween me ‘n’ Mari but hasn’t worked on it for months,” Bendy chimed in, picking at a kernel of corn stuck in his fangs.

“To be fair, she was writing about me and my ‘kin’ first,” Marionette pointed out, his voice soft and even. “If Rivet was cheating on anybody, it was on me, with you.” Despite his face being a mask it moved as though made of skin (or magical bone), and his mouth quirked into a sympathetic smile. “I was mad when she stopped too. But just because she’s not writing about us or drawing us, doesn’t mean she’s forgotten us. She’s just a bit…” He paused, searching for the right word.

“Scatterbrained,” Bendy offered at the same time Dice said, “Easily distracted.”

“Yes,” Marionette agreed to both. “You may not be her favorite character, but you are far from being forgotten and left to rot. Er, or dust, I suppose.”

Sans looked at his slippers, brow creased, as he thought for a long moment. “Wait - who is her favorite, then?” He looked between the three.

“It’s it obvious?” Bendy rolled his eyes hard enough that his head actually lifted away from his shoulders, then resettled. “It’s that brother of yours, Stationary.”

“He means Papyrus,” Marionette cuffed Bendy on the head. To Sans surprise, the demons entire head was sent flying, rolling across the floor to the far corner where Rivet and the cups stood, complaining all the while. The deer glanced down and looked as though she was seriously considering punting the annoying demon head across the room.

“Her favorite, out of all of us, is Papyrus?” Sans asked, not sure he had heard right.

“Yes,” Dice adjusted his cufflinks, looking bored of the conversation.

“Heh,” Sans felt his shoulders slump, smile relaxing into something far more genuine than before. “I can get behind that.”

“Wonderful.” Marionette gave him a bright smile, then reached up with a too-long arm and gently tugged Sans to sit beside him. “Come, have a seat. She has been trying to pass this level for days, I believe she almost has it.”

Dice snorted and retook his own seat, crossing his legs once more and picking up the Xbox controller that had been dropped when Sans knocked. “Was she ever able to defeat you, in that ‘Genocide’ mode your game has?”

Sans plopped down between Marionette and Bendy (well, Bendy’s body - his head had been picked up by Rivet, and he was currently trying to tell the upset deer some extra-dirty jokes to cheer her up) and snorted. “Nah. She tried a few times, then rage quit and reset the game.”

“Heh,” Dice’s mustache twitched as he smirked, “Then I’ve already won the bet, Mari. Want to pay up before you embarrass yourself?”

The puppet sniffed and offered the popcorn bowl to Sans, “Not on your life, King Dice. I happen to have faith in our dear friend.” Sans snorted into his handful of popcorn at the pun.

“Your choice,” Dice conceded, reloading the level, then hitting pause. “Rivet, are we going to continue, or are you done for the day?”

The four (well, three and a head) in the corner jumped at his call. The two mugs let out a whoop at seeing the game reset and rushed back over, throwing themselves onto Dice’s lap and settling in to watch. Rivet glanced down at Bendy, who gave her a cheeky wink.

“Just remember, if ya ever need a smile, I know this great joke ‘bout these aristocrats,” he offered as she dragged her feet back over to the group. She gave him a weak smile, then dropped his head back on his shoulders. While Bendy readjusted his head, her gaze flickered to Sans.

“Sans, I’m not - I would never -”

“Eh, fuggedaboutit,” Sans waved off the half-stuttered apology, “It’s your headspace, not mine.” He took another handful of popcorn when Mari offered it. “Besides, I’m too lazy to hold a grudge.”

He wasn’t prepared for the hug and nearly dropped his popcorn when Rivet (god, was she tiny in this form! He didn’t know if he liked her better like this, or in her ‘Undertale’ form when she was taller than him!) threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you, Sans. I promise, I’ll never forget you, or Undertale.”

“I know, kiddo.” He gave her back an awkward little pat, then pushed her away a bit. “Now, show me how you fail at this game.”

“Sans!”

“She does it really gracefully.”

“Cuphead!”

“Swears like a sailor when she dies, too.”

“Bendy!”

“Don’t get your tail in a twist, girly. Now show this bone-head how Cagney kills you.”

“DICE!”

**Author's Note:**

> Pure crack! I wrote it a month or so ago to get back in the writing spirit, and waffled over posting it here. Finally decided to do it! But yeah, this is what my headspace looks like when I converse with characters. I promise more writing in the future! Getting my life in order takes most of my time, but I have plenty of sub days to work on new chapters. 
> 
> Love you, all my beautiful readers! I hope you enjoyed this crackfic!


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